Ferret Legging

Ahhh, no ferret section would be complete without an article on ferret legging.

This most bizarre “sport” involves shoving ferrets down ones pants. Yes, that’s right – not one ferret but two ferrets.

Is this really a sport? A hoax perhaps? Maybe a future episode of fear factor?

Either way, it certainly deserves a bit of attention. Perhaps, this is a new event you would like to introduce at your workplace or club? It certainly will weed the men from the boys – I will say women should be welcome to partake as well although they may have a distinct advantage…..

Just how is ferret legging done?

First off you remove all underclothing. That’s right – nothing between you and your pants. Then you tie the legs of your pants closed. It might help to get those pants that already have the little drawstrings and the bottom so you can just cinch them closed but if you don’t have those, you can use rope or, better yet duct tape. Then you take 2 ferrets – not the docile friendly kind either. Get the most nasty ferocious ones you can find and shove them down your pants. Then tie the pants closed at the top – again it helps if you have the kind that already have a string in the waste band but failing that a belt, rope or duct tape will work just fine. Now the fun starts – the little buggers will flail all around trying to find a way out! Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Of course, this is a contest of sorts and the “ferret legging winner” is the one that can stand it the longest without whipping his (or her) pants down and running for the hills. Surely you can see just how entertaining this would be at the next company cook out or family reunion.

Seriously, we do not condone ferret legging at all. Oh, sure it might hurt you, but think of how cruel it is to the ferrets. Those poor little guys all confined in your pants – they could suffocate or get hurt. So don’t try this at home folks, really.